


im not one to plead

by catboyism (kogaritsu)



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Blood Drinking, Love Confessions, M/M, Moving In Together, Mutual Pining, Nipple Play, Oral Fixation, Post-Canon, Slight Internalized Homophobia, Touch-Starved, intimacy issues due to trauma, references to thralling, they take a bath, to be clear the rating is precautionary the nsfw part is rly only 400 words and pretty mild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-09-26 23:42:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20398078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kogaritsu/pseuds/catboyism
Summary: Rei was very quiet for a moment, staring up at Kaoru with a confounded expression, “Not to overstep any boundaries, Kaoru-kun, but I have been trying to get a hand down your pants for two entire years, perhaps even longer. What ever have I said or done to suggest that I have no interest in pursuing a closer relationship with you?”“Well, I-” Kaoru furrowed his eyebrows. “Huh?”





	im not one to plead

**Author's Note:**

> there was originally a lot more but my friends embarrassed me so now its just this
> 
> also its really important to me that its stated directly up here that a heavy theme of this is how touch starved they both are and the affect it has on their relationship thank you

“You really do look awful.” Kaoru’s tone was only a little sympathetic, with a cruel teasing edge, “Are you actually that scared to live with me?”

“Kaoru-kun thinks he’s _so_ cute,” Rei said, gesturing to Koga, who could not have possibly been paying less attention to him.

With no deliberation at all, Kaoru took some mercy on him, holding out the half drained cup of iced coffee he’d nursed on the drive over. Rei chose to sip from it without taking it from Kaoru’s hand, simply leaning out of his seat to reach it. The light changed colors, and Kaoru’s eyes returned to the road, foot applying minimal pressure to the gas to ease his car forward. Rei’s fingers brushed his when he took the coffee for real, sinking back into his seat with a tormented groan. Koga snorted in the rearview, hardly looking up from his phone screen. Kaoru focused on the road, but swore he’d remember to ruffle Koga’s hair when they got to the apartment. Adonis’ too, just for the hell of it.

“You’re such a whiner, Sakuma-san.” Kaoru changed lanes, glancing at his GPS when traffic forced him to stop again.

“Go away.” Rei had retreated into the collar of his shirt, shying away from the early afternoon sunlight.

“Give me some credit,” Kaoru squinted out the windshield, “I could have made you drive so I could navigate.” 

“You never let me drive Bun-chan.” Rei braved the sun, reaching out to thump the arm of Kaoru’s sunglasses, “Even though I’ve had my license longer.”

“Bun-chan’s a gentle lady, you have to treat her nicely.” Rubbing the steering wheel, Kaoru counted parking spaces, searching for theirs.

“Who says I’m not a generous lover?” Rei sat up in his seat as Kaoru pulled into their space, stretching through a yawn.

Koga gagged in the back, unbuckling his seatbelt and bouncing his knees while he waited for his chance to escape. Kaoru put Bun-chan in park, laughing at Rei the entire time and taking back his coffee. Sipping from the straw, Rei considered poking fun at their indirect kiss, deciding against it when Koga cheered at the opportunity to escape the backseat.

“Kanata-kun doesn’t count, you were way hotter when you guys went out,” Kaoru tapped his lips in thought, and Rei knew he was about to be mean, “Or was it ‘going steady’ way back then?”

From outside the car, Koga split a seam, smacking the trunk with how hard he was laughing. The old man jokes always got him, so long as it wasn’t Rei making them about himself. Rei went red to the ears, curling in on himself and covering his ears when Kaoru started laughing at him as well. At least Adonis would be nice to him when he got finished helping Kiryuu and Hasumi move. He stayed in the car a little longer, watching Kaoru roughhouse with Koga by the trunk through his side view mirror. The sunshine caught his hair perfectly, shining and wild like a patch of wildflowers. Rei got out of the car, then, if only to banish the sinking in his chest.

\---

It took all four of them to get everything into the apartment by sundown, and Adonis alone to rearrange the furniture in the sitting room. Koga complained when Kaoru asked him to help unpack the boxes of clothing, but was nice and quiet once they got working. Rei was washing their new flatware and dishes as they came out of their packaging, glancing over his shoulder every now and then to watch Kaoru and Koga sorting clothes and bantering inaudibly. It warmed his heart. Adonis joined him at the sink after all the furniture was in place, opting to dry the dishes after they were squeaky clean. In no time, the cabinets were packed full and all that was left to do was feed the kids and send them on their way.

“You’re a very kind child, Adonis-kun.” Rei smiled at him, valuing the smile he got in return. Adonis’ smile had grown more confident as he entered his third year, caving identical dimples in his cheeks and narrowing his eyes. It was a shame he’d only found his smiling potential at the end of Rei’s high school career; Rei would sorely miss seeing it every day.

Dinner was takeout, a necessary indulgence after all the hard work they’d done. They ate at the coffee table in the sitting area, letting the kids use the couch as a show of their appreciation. It didn’t even take a full ten minutes before Rei was worming his way into Kaoru’s side, complaining about how badly his back hurt. 

“When the kids leave, I’ll give you a massage, but only if it’ll shut you up.” No matter how mean he was being, Kaoru reclined to let Rei actually lay on him. Kind of like he’d do for a very big and very annoying housecat.

“Gross.” Koga kicked Rei in the head from the couch, receiving a scolding from Adonis immediately after.

The rest of their evening was spent trying without success to get the TV working. It was nearly dark when Kaoru drove the kids home, leaving Rei to clean up the sitting area and retreat to Kaoru’s room to dig out some pajamas. Before he got into his pajamas, though, he reorganized and set aside all the clothes Kaoru and Koga had refolded. Once they were in a neat pile by the broken down boxes, he was content to change and flop down on the mattress. While he was accustomed to, and much preferred to, sleeping in his coffin, Kaoru’s bed accepted him like he was meant to lay in it. 

\---

“How goes it, Goldilocks?” Kaoru offered no complaint when he caught sight of Rei in his bed, simply picking through the clothing pile for his own pajamas.

“Lonely.” Rei tried to sound as sad as possible, folding the blankets back to invite Kaoru in.

Instead of replying, Kaoru rolled his eyes, shuffling into the bathroom to change. He emerged a minute or so later, and crawled into bed right next to Rei. Even more surprising, he snuggled right into his side, head lain comfortably on Rei’s shoulder. Sighing happily, Rei curled an arm around his neck to bury his fingers in the crown of Kaoru’s head and scratch lightly at his scalp. Kaoru muffled a yawn against his shirt, stretching his legs under the sheets and draping a lazy arm over Rei’s waist. For a few minutes they just laid there listening to their neighbor mill about on the other side of the wall. When Kaoru’s phone vibrated like a beehive, though, he retracted his arm from its place resting over Rei’s midsection to answer the onslaught of texts.

Rei continued messing with his hair, running his fingers through to the best of his ability and occasionally moving down to brush it out of his eyes. Each time he did, Kaoru cast his eyes up with a little smile, just barely making eye contact before he was back to typing away. It was his business and his alone, so no matter how curious Rei was, he resisted the urge to poke and pry. 

“Kaoru-kun.” Rei ceased his combing through Kaoru’s hair for a moment, just holding onto him and making their position feel like a lot more than it was.

“Hm? Everything okay?” Kaoru lifted his head from Rei’s shoulder, turning his phone face down on the Rei’s stomach.

“Oh definitely, I just wanted to thank you for your immense kindness and patience with me. I understand I’m far from the easiest person to put up with, especially when it comes to things such as deadlines and other adult matters,” Rei stopped for a moment, seemingly pensive, “So thank you for dealing with my nonsense as long as you have, and thank you for committing to deal with it for a while longer. Unfortunately, my penchant for knowing the right thing to say extends very limitedly to song lyrics, and I fear I’ll never truly find a way to voice my gratitude to you. With utmost sincerity, I hope my company and contributions can make up for all of the annoying aspects of my character.”

“Sakuma-san,” Kaoru didn’t dare look up at him, and amended, “Rei-kun. You’re a pain in the ass for sure, but…” 

Kaoru had a lot to say to him. They were only words, but the concept of baring himself and his vulnerabilities was still debilitatingly terrifying, no matter how many years he’d pined for acceptance and recognition. Rei wouldn’t judge, nor would he use Kaoru’s words for anything but comfort and reassurance. It was still hard, though, like standing at the edge of a cliff overlooking a lagoon, even though the water would catch him no matter how hard he jumped, the fear was ingrained. It was worth a try. 

“You’re a pain in the ass, that’s a given and you kinda always have been, but it’s one of your selling points. People think you’re _sooo_ sexy for being irritating as hell, so I don’t think it’s really a problem? I mean, your sleeping and eating schedules are pitiful and don’t even get me started on how you always smell a little bit like ham. Plus you complain so much and not even about things worth whining about and-”

“Kaoru-kun.” Rei’s shoulders were shaking with silent laughter, fingers twirling his hair into little curls.

“Sorry. You’re a royal pain in the ass, but you’re _my_ pain in the ass. You promised to go into a career that exhausts you and has done way more to hurt you than it’s helped, and you did it just because I asked you to. Even if I minded how weird and annoying you are, I kinda lose the right to kick you in the ass for it, y’know?” Kaoru couldn’t breathe between sentences, forcing them out like there was a gun to his temple, “I don’t even mind anymore though, because you’re gonna be a great roommate and you’re gonna be a great partner, and I’m so glad that of all the assholes I could get stuck with, I ended up bagging you. The bad stuff you mentioned doesn’t matter to me, and that’s because it’s you.”

It was quiet for a minute, Kaoru’s phone buzzing with new text messages and Rei’s heart beating like he was on the downhill of a marathon. His fingers had stopped curling the ends of Kaoru’s hair, still like he was a marble sculpture as he processed Kaoru’s word vomit. They tightened for just a second, then released him like they’d been burned. Something about the lack of touch made Kaoru feel sick to his stomach, prepared to lock himself in the bathroom and lament ruining their friendship the first night they spent living together. Before he could wriggle out of bed and retreat, however, Rei took a deep breath.

“When you say things like that,” Rei’s tone was as somber as it was the Christmas prior, full of emotions too complex to identify by ear, “It becomes increasingly difficult to remember that the only partner I’ll ever be to you is one in the sense of the idol business.”

Kaoru laughed bitterly, unable to hold his tongue, “That’s hilarious. You say that as if I ever had a chance in the first place.”

Rei opened his mouth to speak again, and every moment Kaoru spent in high school dreading the sound of his voice came rushing back like a flood. His head ached with how stupid he felt, eyes burning like he was about to cry. With the last of his emotional strength, Kaoru held his breath and rolled away from Rei, crawling out of bed before the waterworks could start. When Rei grabbed his arm, it was too easy to pull free, like he hadn’t been trying to stop him at all. The kitchen floor was a welcome sight, and Kaoru sank down behind the counter to compose himself. He wasn’t crying, at least, but he still really wanted to. 

“Kaoru-kun, please come back.” Rei called after him, and bedsprings squeaked as he presumably got up as well.

Kaoru didn’t answer him, rubbing at his eyes until they hurt for other reasons, muscles so tense they were just shy of cramping. Rei dropped to the floor next to him only seconds later, speaking so archaically he might as well have been speaking in tongues. It occured to Kaoru belatedly that he could finally shut him up, as they were now equals and Rei was no longer the boss of him. The romantic part of his brain painted a pretty picture of them making out on the floor of their brand new apartment and skipping off into the sunset, but Kaoru valued at least a little realism. So he smacked a hand over Rei’s mouth with a heavy sigh.

“Just shut up for once, I really don’t wanna hear about how I’m ‘a good kid’ and ‘anyone would be lucky to have’ me or whatever the hell you’re trying to say.” He didn’t look over, staring a hole in the drywall by the pantry door.

“Kah-owu-kun.” Rei pushed on his hand, but didn’t put much behind it. Kaoru dropped his hand anyway. “I don’t understand why you’re so upset. We’ve already signed our contract. I’m yours until the day you get tired of me.” 

It hit harder than a bullet train when Kaoru realized that Rei, stupidly, thought they were talking about the idol business. He was almost angry when he processed it, with both himself for being an idiot and Rei for being a bigger one. It welled in his chest, replacing the sadness that’d built there, however took a sharp turn and landed hot in the pit of his stomach. Moving to actually look at Rei, his expression was full of confusion and sympathy, as if he truly believed Kaoru was afraid their contract wouldn’t hold out. His lips were twisted into the saddest little frown, eyes crinkled with the downward slope of his eyebrows. It was a deep and almost primal instinct that told him to cling, as if Rei would dissolve out of existence unless held in place.

“Rei-kun, you’re so fucking stupid.” Kaoru shuffled into his lap, offering no choice in the matter. There were no protests from Rei, of course, who returned the embrace in earnest, burying his face in Kaoru’s neck. 

“I still don’t understand.” He was muffled, but audible, “Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” Kaoru was already tired of talking it out, cheek squished against the side of Rei’s head.

“Stop pouting and let me soothe you, what’s the matter?” Rei rubbed Kaoru’s back, snuggling closer and absentmindedly tightening his arms around him.

Kaoru sealed his lips, but closed his eyes and let Rei hold him. Even though he didn’t get an answer, Rei continued rubbing Kaoru’s back. He was determined, however.

“I want to help.” Tracing the knobs of Kaoru’s spine, Rei eased away from the crook of his neck. His expression was softer than it had ever been when talking to Kaoru, eyes warm and lips curled into a gentle smile. Kaoru counted back from ten to avoid thinking about kissing him.

“You’re helping already.” Kaoru dipped his head to hide in Rei’s neck this time, smelling the collar of his shirt like some kind of freak. It smelled like clean laundry and old cologne. It took a few trembling breaths to recompose himself and just enjoy the closeness.

“Kaoru-kun, come out.” Rei didn’t move a muscle, aside from the hand on Kaoru’s back, giving him time to do it of his own volition. He did come out, rewarded by Rei’s lips on his brow. It was more than he’d expected, but far less than his heart wanted.

“Can you tell me what’s bothering you?” Rei was so much warmer than usual, gentle and loving like he’d act with his Oddballs. 

“It’s dumb. Just hold me, okay?” Kaoru’s self control was frayed and his heart hurt as much as his head did.

“I’d be happy to do so, however, I refuse to let you stew in it.” Rei stroked his hair again, locking eyes with him and chipping away even more of Kaoru’s resistance.

“Stop looking at me like that.” He shied away, closing his eyes again.

“You know, without your cooperation, I’ll be forced to engage drastic measures.” Punctuating his warning with a not-so-platonic peck to the side of Kaoru’s neck, Rei bent his knees to eliminate some more of the space between them.

“Why are you kissing me?” He was beginning to wonder when he fell asleep, as this was clearly a dream of some sort.

“Affection makes everyone feel better, that’s all.” Rei’s lips moved against his neck in a way that unintentionally rose gooseflesh on Kaoru’s arms, “If you don’t like it, I can stop.”

“That’s weird, I thought the only partner of mine you wanted to be was my musical partner.” Kaoru pushed his head away, gritting his teeth and moving further off his lap.

Rei was very quiet for a moment, staring up at Kaoru with a confounded expression, “Not to overstep any boundaries, Kaoru-kun, but I have been trying to get a hand down your pants for two entire years, perhaps even longer. What ever have I said or done to suggest that I have no interest in pursuing a closer relationship with you?” 

“Well, I-” Kaoru furrowed his eyebrows. “Huh?”

Rei had the audacity to laugh at him, then, sliding his hand down to affectionately squeeze Kaoru’s side. Were they not having what was turning into a very important and serious conversation, Kaoru would have admired the flush that was rising on his face. He couldn’t, though, because his dignity was in danger, no matter how pretty Rei looked while he was laughing at him. Kaoru wracked his brain for a retort, finding only the impulse to shove his shoulder with all the strength in his body. It didn’t have any kind of affect.

“To be honest, I thought I was quite obvious.” He was still laughing, and it was becoming kind of contagious. 

“I must’ve missed the signs, because I thought you and Wan-chan were a thing for at least a year,” Kaoru said, but choked over the words on the edge of laughter.

“That’s disgusting,” Rei smacked him on the thigh, “Koga-kun is like my child.”

That was it for Kaoru and he broke out laughing himself, frame shaking and chest constricting. Tears leaked from his eyes and down the apples of his cheeks, a culmination of emotional release and violent laughter. It wasn’t even that funny, and yet Kaoru was nearly sobbing, part relief and part glee from Rei’s repulsion. 

“He wanted you so bad, dude,” Peals of laughter dwindled off into giggles, “Even I could tell, and that was back when I thought boys were icky!”

Rei’s laughter had subsided, and instead of acknowledging Kaoru’s comment, he leaned forward and stretched his neck upward to kiss the tear tracks that ran down his cheeks. It was a strange feeling for sure, but not one that Kaoru necessarily disliked. He decided to just let it happen.

“You’re so weird.” Endearment bloomed in Kaoru’s voice.

“I can certainly be weirder, if you’d like.” Rei was about to go for his neck, Kaoru could feel it in his bones.

“No thanks, I think I’ve got this.” Stopping that train before it derailed itself, he replanted both hands of Rei’s shoulders, shoving him once more until his shoulder blades were flush with the counter’s base.

He then took a gamble and closed the minimal distance between them, suppressing an emasculating squeak when he was unceremoniously yanked closer. This was a side of Rei he’d often seen up close, but only in the heat of a performance; there was something refreshing about seeing such high confidence off stage. Now, Kaoru had kissed plenty of people, and while he knew that no two people kissed the same way, it still came as a bit of a surprise to pick out the differences between Rei and his other partners. There were similarities, of course, such as the way he and Kanata were both quick to introduce tongue to the equation. Kaoru wasn’t complaining, though. He liked the pace they were setting.

His knees were starting to ache in their position, and Rei seemed more than unwilling to disengage from Kaoru’s mouth. Somehow they managed to stand up, Rei very quickly changing their position and backing Kaoru into the edge of the counter. Was it the most comfortable feeling on earth? No. Did Kaoru care so long as Rei’s hands continued to creep under the hem of his shirt? Not even a little. Hell, he hardly even cared when his phone started ringing. Kanata’s ringtone echoed through their mostly empty kitchen, loud and jarring when compared to the smacking of lips between them. It went to voicemail. 

“‘Under the Sea’, huh? Wonder who that could be.” Rei pulled away for only a moment, laughing low and amused.

“Low hanging fruit?” Kaoru pulled him back in, as if he were suffocating.

Rei was as generous as ever, clinging to Kaoru’s bare sides like he’d slip away in an instant. Kaoru’s phone rang again, and there was no way he was planning to answer sounding like he’d run a marathon. While he thought up a sufficient reply to Kanata, Rei skirted the waistband of his sweatpants with one hand, fingers sneaking past to brush his fingertips over the dip of Kaoru’s tailbone. A mumbled ‘behave’ was lost to the surface of Rei’s mouth as they separated, then came back together like magnets. Neither of them cared to recognize that there’d be no behaving. Rei’s text notification brought them out of it again, and it was obvious that Kanata needed confirmation that neither of them were crushed under the antique loveseat they’d robbed from the Sakuma household.

Texting was really hard while kissing Rei, and it was way too tempting to go back for more when Kaoru pulled away. The only solution he could think of was to turn around and lean on the counter, tapping out a reply to Kanata with the only remaining composure he still had. Evidently Kaoru was taking too long, judging by how quickly Rei flattened himself against his back, pressing kisses to the back of his shoulder through his shirt. It was horribly distracting, and Kaoru’s text to Kanata was cut very short. He doubted Kanata would mind, likely very wrapped up in whatever (likely)fish related activities he had planned for the evening.

As soon as he tried to turn back around, he was held in place by Rei’s wandering hands. They were no longer under his shirt, instead groping at his hips, as if memorizing their curve; judging by the way Rei was breathing against the shell of his ear, said curve was at least a little impressive. When Rei’s hand slid from the ridge of his hip to the front of his sweatpants, it wasn’t just his ego being stroked. Out of surprise, however, Kaoru grabbed his wrist, squeezing as if he were scolding, but leaning into Rei’s body with all the leeway he was given. In retaliation, Rei dipped his head to worry an earlobe between his teeth.

“Better get this out of your system fast,” Kaoru released Rei’s wrist with a hum, “Wouldn’t want anyone to interrupt you with a hand between my legs, huh?”

Rei’s answer was delayed by a nip to the back of Kaoru’s neck, “If I had my way, I’d be putting something else between your legs, trust me.”

“Rei-kun’s so bad…” The words leave on a huffing exhale; Rei had hardly touched him thus far, and yet his breath came in pants. 

While he couldn’t see very much of Rei, from the tremble of his fingers and strain of his voice, Kaoru could infer that he was just as wrecked. He had to resist the urge to shift back some, instead turning his upper body as much as he comfortably could. As soon as his mouth was in reach, Rei was kissing him like there was nothing else on Earth he could be doing. There was plenty more Kaoru wanted him to be doing, but kissing was fine for a while, if only because Rei was so deliciously responsive. Musician’s fingers trailed up the flat of his stomach, dipping into the subtle contours and catching on the ridges of Kaoru’s ribcage. The sensation was far from risque, passable as platonic intimacy if not for Rei’s borderline desperate pawing at the front of Kaoru’s sweatpants.

“God, you’re being so pathetic,” Kaoru managed, writhing as Rei’s fingers crawled higher, “So much for your composed and experienced facade, am I right?”

Firmly ignoring Kaoru’s teasing, Rei pulled his hand out from underneath his shirt like he’d been electrocuted. And, hey, maybe he had been, what with all the blanket shuffling they’d been doing. Kaoru didn’t appreciate the loss of attention, though, and made a face over his shoulder at Rei, who was very much too distracted by his discovery to care much. Nails scratched down his stomach, enticingly rougher than they’d been on their way up.

“Kaoru-kun…” Rei’s head thunked against his shoulder, “If you get any cuter, I might just have to eat you up.”

“Do not, under any circumstances, play with them, then.” Even as he warned Rei, he guided his hand back underneath his shirt.

Rei’s fingertips dragged over Kaoru’s chest a few more times, hesitant to disturb the matching hoops stuck through his nipples at first. Against the shell of his ear, he asked if they were freshly pierced; when Kaoru told him they weren’t, he started pinching with a sigh of satisfaction and very little mercy. A high sort of keen fell from Kaoru’s lips at the feeling, back arching some to press his chest into Rei’s hand. His eyes fluttered shut when Rei started kissing his neck again, nosing up behind his ear to mumble sweet nothings as he twisted and tugged. At that point, Kaoru would have been surprised to hear that Rei couldn’t _ feel_ how much fun he was having with the hand not up his shirt. 

Stress had piled up over the weeks leading up to their big move, and Kaoru could feel it dropping off his shoulders, relaxing his muscles. It was nice to let go, and he’d never gotten this far with any girlfriend he’d ever had, nor had he managed to actually charm Chiaki or Kanata into bed with him. Rei was a good first experience. Too good, in fact, because Kaoru had never wanted another person to touch him more in his entire life. Too good, because Rei was so careful and attentive that Kaoru never wanted it to end. Too good, because they were both still fully dressed and Kaoru already felt thoroughly fucked. Who knew relieving sexual tension pent up over nearly three years could do more than get him laid? 

Thinking was stupid when Rei was all over him, though, and Kaoru decided that he’d much prefer to look at him. So he nudged both hands away, ignoring Rei’s immediate protests and consequential snaps of his jaw, and turned to loop his arms around his neck instead. It proved to be an excellent change of positioning, because with Kaoru’s back to the counter again, Rei felt no guilt shoving him harder against it, trusting his back to hold out. And it did, because Kaoru was an athlete first and a quitter last.

“Not for nothing,” God, he wanted to kiss Rei so bad, “But I wouldn’t mind being eaten up every once in a while.” 

The sound that came out of Rei’s mouth was beyond erotic, drawn out and breathy when he grabbed for Kaoru’s thigh, nails biting into the fabric of his sweatpants. Kaoru tugged him closer, kissing him hard and using his shoulders for leverage when he hooked his leg higher on Rei’s waist. Thigh secure against his side, Rei rocked forward and slipped his hand back up Kaoru’s shirt, savoring the groan it got him. Digging his thumb into the firm muscle just beyond the ridge of Kaoru’s hipbone, he ground forward again, determined to get more out of him. And more he got in the form of yet another breathy groan falling from Kaoru’s lips, seemingly without his permission.

“You really love this, don’t you?” Rei didn’t wait for an answer, sucking at the side of his neck without even considering how Kaoru would cover up the evidence, “I’ve barely touched you, and yet you’re already clinging to me like I’m your lifeline.”

Embarrassing as it was, Kaoru just let his head fall back, basking in the attention and scoring his nails against the back of Rei’s nightshirt. His entire body felt like an exposed nerve, raw and sensitive, pushed prematurely into overstimulation by Rei’s deft fingers. Sharp teeth scraped the thin skin over his clavicle, slicing shallowly like a knife through butter. With a sense of urgency, Rei lapped at the little blood that rose at the cut, kissing away the subtle sting until all that was left was a pleasant burn. While Kaoru would never deign to call himself a masochist, he’d be a liar to say the shocks of pain weren’t the slightest bit exhilarating. 

“Don’t worry, Kaoru,” They were all alone, but Rei whispered the words against the curve of Kaoru’s collarbone, “I’ll take good care of you.”

At last Kaoru’s neck was given a break, at the expense of his shirt. Rei’s head would certainly stretch the material out if it stayed under it, and Kaoru mournfully swatted at him until he resurfaced. He looked grumpy when he was pulled away from the place he clearly wanted to be, pacified again by Kaoru’s mouth. For the sake of the thin skin over his hip bone, Rei gripped the edge of the counter. Kaoru, obviously displeased by the development, rose up onto his tiptoes to get a new angle between them. He was lucky he was such a good kisser, Rei would never tolerate being fussed at if not for the feeling of Kaoru’s nails against his shoulders and taste of his chapstick. Some American pop song played in the back of his mind. It took a decent amount of effort to not hum the melody, but he managed it.

Kaoru could taste the vaguest hint of iron on Rei’s tongue, unnecessarily aroused by the knowledge that it was _his_ blood. He’d never even consider confessing that to anyone, much less Rei, regardless of how it boiled in the pit of his stomach. Instead he focused on the way the tip of Rei’s tongue jabbed at his frenulum; while Kaoru silently worshiped his proficiency at French kissing, he also reminisced on how many times he’d dreamed of getting to feel the barbell sticking out of Rei's tongue. Dropping back to the flat of his foot, he had to break away, leaning against the edge of the countertop again in desperate need of a breather. Rei was not so kind, however, dragging kisses from jawline to temple. 

“How are you so good at this?” Kaoru sounded horrifically worked over, especially for the fact that he was still fully clothed. 

“Hmmm,” Rei finally let up, giving Kaoru as much space as he could with his leg still around his waist, “Methinks you’re just easy.”

With an embarrassed huff, Kaoru lied back against the counter, groping around for his phone. Rei stared openly at his heaving chest, only feeling a little perverted for paying special attention to the now very noticable bumps where his piercings lied. When he managed to stop staring at his chest, he admired the flush sitting high on Kaoru’s cheeks. The tint of red suited him, and Rei had no plans of being quiet about it. His tongue tied itself in a knot when he tried, eyes raking over the smattering of half-bloomed love bites ringing Kaoru’s neck. He looked like he’d been ravaged, and Rei was almost ashamed of the twist in his gut when he reminded himself that his own mouth caused such beautiful marks.

Patience was far from his strong suit, but Rei did his best to let Kaoru catch his breath, eventually averting his eyes and watching the numbers above their stove change. When that grew old, he distracted himself by tying the upper portion of his hair in a pitiful knot on the back of his head, just to keep it away from his mouth. Eventually, when Kaoru’s foot wiggled against his back, Rei let go of his leg, flinching at how hard it dropped from his waist. Fortunately, Kaoru didn’t seem to care or notice, stretching his toes against the polished wood. Rei ignored how badly he wanted to eliminate all barriers between them and truly christen their apartment, deciding to leave those thoughts for his next shower. Instead of dwelling on his unending libido, he bent over Kaoru’s torso, tucking his face back into his neck with a pleased hum. He didn’t do much else than kiss the soft skin between Kaoru’s neck and shoulder, simply appreciating how close they were.

“How long have you been waiting to do this?” Kaoru teased, peeking past his phone screen.

Rei buried his face further, refusing to bite but highly tempted, “You’re so mean to me.”

“No, I’m serious. Have you actually been into me for a while?” His keyboard clicked with the texts he was sending.

“Mhmm, I was very taken with your singing voice when we were young.” Rei surfaced to kiss Kaoru’s cheek, “I still am, of course, but I nearly proposed the first time I heard you.”

“I would’ve said no.” Kaoru was smiling, fingers trailing along Rei’s shoulder again, “At least back then, I would’ve.”

“I’ve finally won you over, then?” Rei kissed the corner of Kaoru’s mouth, 

“Nah, you won me over last year. Now you’re just dragging me along.” Coaxing him closer, Kaoru pecked his lips, hoping his words could count as a confession.

For a moment, it felt kind of romantic, as if Kaoru weren’t bent backwards over their kitchen counter with 70% of his blood below the waistband of his sweatpants. Rei was in no better condition, Kaoru could feel as much, but was a little more composed. Regardless, the whole setup was beginning to feel more intimate and romantic than a knee jerk hookup. While he’d been in situations close to this one, not having to stress over his dad coming home or Kanata’s parents hearing him was new. It was scary to think about, much scarier than the feeling of Rei’s mouth on his neck and hand on his thigh. 

Fortunately for Kaoru, Rei’s mind was severely devoted to wringing more happy little sounds from him. Back to nibbling his earlobe, he dragged Kaoru back to Earth by his ankles, hands wandering back under the hem of his shirt. At least, after all the embarrassment he was enduring, Kaoru had something new to tease Rei about every time he refused to follow basic directions. He wouldn’t call it a silver lining, since he was almost certainly about to achieve assisted orgasm, but it was definitely a bright side.

Unfortunately for Kaoru, Rei spent very little time feeling him up, pulling away to loom ominously over him with the eyes of a predator. The kitchen light painted soft shadows across his cheeks, darkening his eyes to the shade of mulled wine. His hair was already coming free, strands framing his features like something out of a renaissance painting. It was nearly impossible to resist reaching up to cup the side of his face. So much for keeping it casual.

“We should go back to bed,” Rei pinched at Kaoru’s chest through his shirt, “Really wanna get my mouth on these.”

“Oh my _god_, you’re a menace,” Kaoru said, but shoved at him with desperation to get off the counter and into his room. 

He got a hold of Rei’s hand, pulling him along the short distance between the kitchen and his bedroom, somehow managing to get lost long enough to back Rei into a wall. The first idea Kaoru had was to return the smattering of bruises littering his neck, biting and sucking at Rei’s neck until it was blooming reds and purples. The desire to go down further, until his words were slurred with pleasure to the point of being unintelligible, nagged at the back of Kaoru’s mind, banished by the way Rei squeezed at his hand. The logical part of his brain revived itself long enough to remind him that, if all went well, he could have Rei against the wall some other night. That thought alone guided them both into Kaoru’s room.

Kaoru’s back hit the mattress with a feeble bounce, and Rei was on top of him before he could catch his breath. There was a certain breed of insistence in the way he licked into Kaoru’s mouth again, hands bunching his shirt up to his armpits. It was almost funny how impatient he was being, so Kaoru lifted his shoulders enough to get his arms out of his sleeves. As soon as he gave an inch, Rei took a mile, only separating their mouths to get Kaoru’s shirt over his head and toss it aside. Kaoru took advantage of his brief freedom, wiggling up to get his head on the pillows. His shifting put Rei right where he wanted to be, eye-to-chest, and there were practically stars in his eyes when he kissed back over the scrape across Kaoru’s clavicle. His lips were, for once, gentle and slow as they explored the new territory.

Just for fun, and to possibly slow his roll, Kaoru tugged the tie out of his hair, causing a cascade of hair to tickle his chest. Rei was not at all phased, fingertips trailing along the tense muscles of Kaoru’s stomach. Once he’d taken his time making Kaoru wait on him, he dipped lower, skipping right to the main event and appeasing the building desires he’d been harboring for the last twenty minutes. Kaoru couldn’t really find anything to whine about.

Pushing Rei’s hair out of his eyes, and gathering it from where it pooled on his chest, he shifted his neck to have a view of the action. The first thing he saw was that Rei’s eyes were blissfully shut, mouth wrapped happily around his left nipple. He could feel it, of course, but the sight itself was a whole new experience, especially with how at peace Rei looked. As good as he was feeling, just a little desperate for release, Kaoru was content to lay there for a while if it meant Rei would keep looking so happy. That is, until Rei’s tongue got caught on the hoop through his nipple and tugged it harder than he (probably) intended. Covering his mouth with his hand, Kaoru outright moaned, mistakenly yanking on the hair he was holding out of Rei’s eyes.

God rewarded him for keeping his eyes on Rei. At the tug of his hair, Rei’s mouth slackened, breath hitching and shoulders slumping into Kaoru’s stomach. Against his better judgement, Kaoru giggled impishly, flexing his fingers and gathering up more hair to coax Rei’s face away from his chest. His lips were starting to swell some, pretty and pink like fresh watermelon. Once he was tugged off, consequent of his pesky piercing, his tongue hung out of his mouth like a dog with its head out the window. Kaoru refused to acknowledge how cute it was. It, of course, quickly returned to his mouth, but the visual of Rei Sakuma, idol sensation with his eyes half-focused and tongue lolled out was burned into Kaoru’s mind. When he was sure Rei could be trusted to keep his head upright, he let go of his hair, admiring the way it settled around his face. Almost instantly, he regretted it, but refrained from touching on him any more. 

“You’re so pretty, baby,” He gushed, smiling fondly as Rei laid his head back down almost right away, ear over his heart and mouth locked in a toothy smile. 

“It feels good to see you so carefree.” Kaoru went back to playing with Rei’s hair, twisting it around his fingers like fine ribbon, “You’re so stressed all the time… Seeing you smile this much is nice.”

“Kaoru-kun’s being so sweet…” Rei mouthed at his chest again, eyes half shut, “You look so good like this, all flushed and bitten at. If thralling were real, you’d be mine in a heartbeat.”

“What’s thralling?” Kaoru pushed on his head again, trying and failing to prevent some bruising.

“An ancient, and mythical, ritual in which a human is bound by blood into servitude to a vampire,” Rei propped himself up on a hand, eyes shining in the lamplight, “The books say it can be quite an erotic experience on both ends.”

“Hmm, how’s it supposed to work?” Honestly, servitude didn’t sound all that fun, but the bit about an “erotic experience” was more intriguing than it had any right to be.

“I was always taught that there’s a special ritual for it, but allow me to reiterate, it’s a phenomenon not yet accessed by my clan.” Ever the clinger, Rei’s free hand sought out Kaoru’s interlocking their fingers.

“Clan?” Kaoru laughed openly at him, twirling a strand of Rei’s hair around the index finger of his free hand, “C’mon, baby, tell me about it.”

“Stop calling me that, I’ll turn to mush.” Rei complained, sticking his tongue out in an uncharacteristically immature show of dissatisfaction.

“You don’t like it?” Kaoru watched his expression, then hummed in disagreement, “No, that’s not it. You like it too much, huh?”

“My mother always told us a bite to the femoral artery was the most effective way to thrall a human, but again, thralling is almost certainly a legend.” Clearly he was right on the money, and Rei wasn’t willing to admit it.

“Wanna try it?” Years of biology class reminded Kaoru that the femoral artery was in the inner thigh and the thought of Rei’s mouth between his legs sent a throb of arousal through his entire body.

“Hm?” 

“Thralling. Do you wanna try it?” 

“Kaoru-kun,” Rei cleared his throat, “Did you miss the part where thralling binds you into servitude?”

“No, but you just told me it’s not real. I’m just trying to give you a meal and, I dunno, initiate sexy roleplay. You’re ruining it.” With a pout, Kaoru let go of Rei’s hand, sinking back into his pillows with a dramatized huff.

“Do you want me to bite you? You weren’t into it the first time I suggested it.” He made up for the distance between them, flopping back down on Kaoru.

“There are variables, okay? Just forget about it.” Now he was getting embarrassed, going pink to the ears.

Rei did not forget about it. He sat up, retreating to the foot of the bed, asking if Kaoru could please lift his hips. Thinking little of it, Kaoru dug his elbows into the mattress for leverage and was quickly stripped of his sweatpants, exposed to the air conditioning. Before he could even ask what Rei was trying to do, his legs were hiked over Rei’s shoulders and there was an enthusiastic set of teeth nibbling at the sensitive skin of his right thigh. Reflexes kicked in, and so Kaoru’s right foot was briefly airborne, ignored completely by Rei in favor of leaving a hickey right above his tanline. Then another, and then another. Upon peppering Kaoru’s right leg with darkening bruises, Rei moved along to the left one, paying it the same attention. Kaoru was just getting bored when Rei sat up straight, dragging him a few centimeters down the mattress and disrupting his train of thought.

“If I incant in Romanian would you have a panic attack?” He asked, pressing a chaste kiss to the inside of Kaoru’s knee.

“Yeah, probably.” Kaoru shrugged his shoulders, undoubtedly sporting more than one chin with the angle Rei was holding him at.

“Hm. I suppose I’ll have to carry the roleplay on my back then, since Baby Kaoru can’t handle the real spell.” His words were followed by a nip, and then he moved along.

“Fuck you.” 

Rei ignored him again, briefly admiring his masterpiece. Then, perhaps out of boredom, he went in for the kill. When Rei’s teeth really dug into his thigh, Kaoru couldn’t help but whine through the sharp pain and transitional pleasure. It hurt, as any kind of bite would, but Rei was quick to extract his teeth, sucking at the bite until Kaoru’s toes were curled so hard his foot was beginning to cramp. With a shuddering inhale, he pulled off, licking up the blood that began to dribble down, kissing and sucking more ugly purple bruises that Kaoru’s swimsuit would just barely cover. Fuck if it wasn’t one of the best feelings Kaoru had ever experienced, though, twitching all over and panting like a dog in the heat. His muscles twitched and hopped under his skin like they’d been stretched too far, and Kaoru was seriously reconsidering his refusal to call himself a masochist. Hand in hand with the pain was a fuzzy sensation close to tenderness when Rei ran the pad of his thumb over the bite, wiping away any remaining blood and soothing the skin-level sting. To beg for forgiveness, he went back in to kiss down the line of hickies he’d left behind.

Every so often, Rei dragged his teeth against the fragile expanse of his thigh, never sinking down again, “Feel okay? I don’t think I took too much.”

“Feels…” Kaoru swallowed a whole lot of excess saliva, suddenly quite aware he was drooling a little, “So fucking good. You should bite me again...”

“Should I?” He kissed the bite once more, teasing the holes with the tip of his tongue and humming happily when Kaoru trembled under him.

“Please?” When that didn’t seem like enough, he tried again, “Pretty please?”

Rei lasted only a second, before he pressed a final bruising kiss to Kaoru’s left leg before his right one was the center of attention again. With the skin already littered with love bites, reeking of broken blood vessels, he didn’t have to do much before biting down. He chose a spot higher up this time, teeth sinking in deeper and fingers curling harder into the tensing muscle along Kaoru’s leg. His hips jerked up, and Rei had to sacrifice a hand that could be reacquainting itself with the fabric of Kaoru’s boxers to protect himself from a bloody nose. He didn’t complain, tracing the outer ridge of Kaoru’s hip as he hesitantly withdrew his teeth and flattened his tongue against the open wound. Shuddering little moans and sighs fell from Kaoru’s parted lips, and it took a significant amount of self control for Rei to refrain from readjusting his grip on his hips and just going to town. Consent was important, though, and Kaoru had yet to say much past ‘oh my god’ and ‘that’s so good, baby,’ so between his knees Rei remained. 

“No more for tonight, okay?” He sat up, sliding Kaoru’s legs off his shoulders to rest comfortably on the bed.

“Booooring.” Kaoru propped himself up on his elbows, looking up at Rei through his eyelashes.

“Call me what you like, I’m not biting you again.” Rei couldn’t help kissing him again, chaste this time, since neither of them had quite caught their breath. 

Discomfort struck both of them within a minute, and, after some shifting, Rei was snuggled happily against Kaoru’s back. Kaoru scrolled through twitter while they lied, reading the occasional tweet aloud when he thought it’d get a chuckle from his captive audience. The domesticity from earlier was back, but when he considered the conversation they’d had, it was difficult to discern if everything was okay. He was still hard, still aching in all the right (and wrong) ways, and Rei was too from what he could feel. The heat from before was gone, and he felt wrong. Before Kaoru could ask what came next, Rei peeled away from him. 

“You know what sounds heavenly right now?” He stretched, and Kaoru’s eyes followed the hem of his shirt as it climbed his stomach.

“Hm?” Kaoru adjusted his sweatpants, suppressing an ugly anxiety within him.

“A bath. Care to join me?” He was out of bed then, bent over nearby to sort through an unpacked box on the floor.

Kaoru would have said no, he really would have, but he was sweaty and Rei had slobbered all over him and-

“You don’t need to.” Rei was in the doorway, eyebrows furrowed, “I just wanted to offer.”

Kaoru followed him regardless, watching from the sink as he plugged the tub and poured sweet smelling soap into the pooling water. Steam gathered at the ceiling, fogging the upper edges of the mirror and condensating on the sink. The domesticity that had felt natural earlier was choking Kaoru to death, twisting the floaty feelings that’d made their home in his chest. Rei was showing signs of concern, testing the water temperature again before straying away. Their bathroom wasn’t the most scenic place, half unpacked with shit strewn everywhere, but he somehow made it seem like everything was where it was meant to be. Except Kaoru, that is. 

“We don’t have to do anything,” Rei dug out two towels, “I just figured a bath would be relaxing. In fact, we don’t even have to share.”

“No, it’s okay.” Kaoru swallowed a lump the size of Africa in his throat, “Sounds nice.”

Rei’s smile was warm and affectionate, and Kaoru ignored the churning of his stomach in favor of appreciating the way the steam exacerbated the curls in his hair. Bubbles rose with the water level, spilling over the lip of the tub by the time Rei shut off the faucet. He stripped off his pajamas without a word, slipping into the tub as if he belonged there; Kaoru didn’t watch directly, but saw clear enough in the mirror. He was wearing a lot less, and thus took less time stripping down. The tub was big enough for them to each sit at either end, legs overlapping in the middle. 

For a blissful few minutes, they soaked in silence, until Rei grew restless. Or perhaps he just pitied Kaoru. Even in the hot water, his hands were colder than ice. Kaoru felt them on the inside of his knees, coaxing his legs apart again, then felt musician’s fingers down the inside of his thigh. They were infuriatingly precise when they curled around his cock, and at the same time Rei drifted closer, asking softly if Kaoru was okay with it. The only thing that escaped Kaoru’s lungs was a shaky exhale that vaguely resembled “yes.” When he tried to force out more, Rei kissed the words out of his mouth, fingers tightening and wrist flexing. Instead of words, a long drawn out moan muffled itself against Rei’s lips, and he had the audacity to smile. The water rocked a little as he sped of his hand, kissing the familiar line of Kaoru’s jaw to bite his earlobe again. His free hand braced itself against the bottom of the tub, keeping their close proximity.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, Rei’s thumb moved, breaking the tight fist he’d kept, to rub and press at the head of Kaoru’s cock, drawing out even more choked off noises between moans and whines. It was obvious that this wasn’t meant to last long, prioritizing Kaoru’s pleasure and cutting corners to get there. God bless any of their neighbors that were still awake, because Kaoru’s focus shifted unwillingly from staying quiet to trying to last longer than a minute. Rei wasn’t keen on waiting, though, hand snug and speed just a few knots shy of breakneck, or at least it felt like it. When Kaoru’s hips jerked and fucked into his hand, he pulled away from his neck, listening carefully.

“Fuck, fuck, that’s-” Kaoru gripped the edge of the tub, toes curling and body shaking in anticipation, “Really close, oh my god, Rei-” 

“Does it feel good?” Rei watched Kaoru’s face contort with utmost fascination.

“Yes, fuck yes, you’re so good at this-- I’m gonna-” Bottom lip gnashed to hell and back, Kaoru’s voice clawed an octave higher, desperate as Rei cruelly twisted his wrist a final time.

Just before he could soil their bubble bath, though, Rei ducked underwater, sealing his mouth around Kaoru’s cock. Shoulders slamming back against the porcelain on the tub and eyes practically rolling like a slot machine, Kaoru moaned raw and loud. Overstimulation kicked in as Rei swallowed one, twice, thrice, then came up for air looking like a drowned cat. They caught their breath together, Kaoru still shaking a little and Rei with a suspiciously empty mouth. When he grasped his spacial awareness again, Kaoru moved closer to get a hand between Rei’s legs, backing him to the other side of the tub in the process.

“Kaoru-kun,” Rei licked his lips, faintly swollen and kiss bruised, “You don’t need to.”

“Maybe I want to.” He was unsure, but his conscience told him that handjobs aren’t free.

Rei shook his head, pushing Kaoru’s hand away, “Just let this old man lean on you. I’ll be happy as a clam.”

Kaoru muttered in displeasure, but returned to his side of the tub, opening both arms and legs for Rei to use him as an armchair. As soon as Rei reclined against him, he slung an arm around his waist, holding him in place. There was no complaint, Rei simply sighed happily and closed his eyes hand seeking Kaoru’s under the bubbles. With his free hand, Kaoru smoothed his hair out of his eyes, content to watch Rei’s chest steadily rise and fall.

For a while, they stayed like that, breathing in sync and listening to bugs chirping outside the window. Kaoru was beyond sluggish, ready to sleep off his active evening, and Rei was already half asleep, lazily watching the bubbles dissipate into the cooling bath water. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to...?” He didn’t dare reach lower, waiting patiently.

“Not tonight,” Rei’s shoulders were tense, “I’m not…” He took a breath, then continued, “It isn’t personal.” 

“Not ready?” It was a guess, but Rei nodded with an expression that looked like shame, “That’s okay, your comfort is important.”

“It isn’t because it’s you, I just have a hard time--” His words hiccuped, and Kaoru decided it was a good time to cut the conversation short. 

“Shh. Relax, Rei-kun, I’ve got you.” He squeezed him tighter craning his neck to press a kiss to Rei’s temple, “You’re safe, and everything’s okay.”

The water was lukewarm and a cloudy whitish blue when Kaoru sat up straight, groping around behind himself for the drain. Rei turned over in his arms, nestling his face in the crook of his neck. Before he could stop himself from wondering why Rei’s face was still wet, Kaoru hugged him close again, enjoying the skin-to-skin contact while it was there. The water left them vulnerable to the air outside the tub, and before Kaoru could get a towel around them both, Rei escaped from his embrace, wringing his wet hair out. The towels on the sink were soft and warm; he dried off quickly, because Rei obviously needed a little alone time before they could go back to bed.

“I’ll give you some privacy to rinse off and stuff.” He shut the door quietly, as if there was anyone else in the apartment, then opened it again, “Are you bunking with me tonight?”

Rei, in the middle of fiddling with the showerhead, smiled over his shoulder and nodded, “I’d like that very much.”

Kaoru closed the door again, biting the inside of his cheek to stop from smiling too wide and irritating his torn up lip. His bed was lonely when he returned to it, wriggling into fresh underwear and he clothes he’d lost earlier in the night. It wouldn’t be for long, though, so he plugged his phone in and left it on the bedside table, burrowing into the sheets while he waited. Rei didn’t make him wait too long, crawling in beside him smelling like shampoo with dry, fluffy hair. Kaoru pulled him in like they were lovers, kissing the side of his neck as if affection could speak for him. Rei laughed at him, then went quiet. It was a few minutes before Kaoru could think of what to say.

“We have a lot to work on, huh?” He finally asked, shifting back just enough to meet Rei’s eyes.

“Mhmm, we most certainly do.” Rei smiled again, bigger than before, “Shall we make a deal?”

“Depends.” 

“Tomorrow morning I’ll face my fears and let you have your sinister way with me,” Rei traced the curve of Kaoru’s rib cage through his shirt, “If you let me use the ‘L’ word before we fall asleep.”

“Tempting.” Kaoru tapped his lips in mock thought.

“You don’t have to say it back.” Rei sweetened the pot.

“Deal. Should we shake on it?”

Instead of offering his hand, Rei kissed his lips again, fingers slotting into the dips between Kaoru’s ribs. Kaoru cradled Rei’s face in return, breaking off before his dick could get the wrong idea.

“I love you.” Rei’s breath ghosted over Kaoru’s chin, hair tickling his cheek.

Before he could stop himself, Kaoru hummed in acknowledgement, then replied, “I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> please lmk if there are any typos or errors!


End file.
